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I'm just a girl trying to keep an eternal perspective on life, and live it to the fullest :)

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Reflections of an ER Nurse

As I drove my 45-minute drive home this morning at 3:15am I did not do my usual wind-down routine of listening to music, talk radio, book-on-tape or calling my sister in a different time-zone. I sat in silence. In reverence for the God who gives life and takes it away. Mourning another untimely death of a child.  
My job as a pediatric emergency/trauma nurse has its joys and its sorrows. It definitely keeps me in check with reality. Not just the day-to-day physical reality of life, but even more-so, the spiritual aspect. 
There are always sad stories in any newspaper or on any television news station. Often, I know I say to myself, “that is horrible”, but seeing it face-to-face, watching a strong man crumble at the news of his child’s unexpected death, well, it hurts deep.  As a parent, I can’t imagine any deeper pain than the loss of a child. I experienced a miscarriage, which was hard enough. But having a child die from a house fire, a motor vehicle accident, a fall, an incurable illness, etc.  I see it happen, and in my humanity, I cannot fathom how life could go on after a tragedy such as this. I know the only way to come through something like this in any-sort of positive way is to put all your eggs in His basket. Give over everything to our all-knowing, always loving God.  Our bodies in this life aren’t forever, but our spirits live on. Well, then shouldn’t that be the most important thing- Securing a spot in a perfect eternity?
So, there I was driving home tonight, at the point of tears, feeling just a tiny portion of the heartache the family I encountered is experiencing, and will forever. My job as a nurse is to care holistically for my patients. To be their advocate and to meet not only their physical, but their spiritual and emotional needs as well. In addition to that, I feel an even greater calling as a Christ follower to allow Him to use me in the position I am in. To speak His love into the lives of all the people I come in contact with- to show them who He is. Each day as I drive to work I talk with God. I pray for my nursing skills, for my knowledge, for my patients and their families, and for my coworkers.
I pray for a tragedy-less day. Unfortunately, that doesn’t always happen. Tonight was one of those nights when (as one of my fellow co-workers put it) there’s a fan above us, poo gets thrown up in the air, hits the fan and splatters everywhere. Yup, that’s a nice way of saying it.
The only thing to do is cry out to our Maker, Jesus, Jehovah-Rohi. He is our God of healing, our Shepherd, our God who provides, etc.
(Check out http://www.smilegodlovesyou.org/names.html to see all of the amazing names of God. Also, watch the YouTube video at the bottom right hand corner of the page. The song gives me goosebumps.)
He loves us. He loves you. We may not understand. We may feel like God is turning His back on us, but that’s not true. That is life. As I already mentioned, this life, our bodies here aren’t made for eternity. We’re all going to leave this world someday. Where are you going?
I’ll admit, I didn’t go to seminary school, and I sure don’t have the Bible memorized. But, the one thing I do have a whole lot of is faith in Him. I don’t understand God’s timing. I don’t know all the answers to “why?”, but I do know HE does. I trust in Him with whatever life throws my way. I hope and pray for all good things for my family’s future. I’d be lying if I said I don’t get scared to think of the horrible possibilities that could happen. But, I’m not going to let the could-bes take away my joy. Either way, my hope is in Jesus. I know I have an eternal future in heaven.
So, go tell those in your life what they truly mean to you. Give an unexpected gesture of kindness to a stranger. And, get to know your Maker. He is longing for relationship with each one of us. He loves us as His children. Live each day to the fullest with no regrets. Live with eternity in mind. You never know which day might be your last. 

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